After a couple of years of trying to work through this Hashi-thing – and this food thing – on my own – with some help from a Naturopath – but, not experiencing any real tangible results, I thought it might be time try working with someone one-on-one who has experience treating autoimmune conditions holistically. I did a little google research and came upon Megan Kelly (no, not THAT one), the “realistic holistic.” She had me at realistic.
Earlier this week I had my first appointment with Megan, a video chat through her online portal (great portal, by the way!). We spent about an hour going over my most troubling symptoms (energy/stamina and stubborn weight), my lesser troubling symptoms (libido, constantly itchy skin, chronic frog in my throat, and some issues with low mood). We talked about my typical eating habits, food preferences, and a bit of my history and relationship with food and my body. And, of course, we talked about digestion and poop.
Megan asked me about what I thought my biggest obstacle might be in to achieving the results I want. I’ve thought a lot about these things, so I knew instantly that in all likelihood, I am my own biggest obstacle. After many, many, MANY years of dieting, yo-yo’ing with my weight and eating habits, and in the last few years, not getting results when I do make changes, my resolve – my commitment and enthusiasm for this – is at a low point. It’s hard to stay committed to making difficult changes when you don’t know if you believe it will really produce results. I’m diet-weary.
I’ve been putting myself on diets since I was 7 years old. I was obese in my late twenties to early thirties, topping out at a size 22 on my 5’3” frame. Over a period of about 4 years in my early to mid thirties, I did lose 80 pounds, got into a size 10, and was in the best shape of my life. I had redefined myself as a fitness fanatic, even an athlete, as I did more and more things I had never thought I’d ever be able to do. I was often happily surprised when I looked in the mirror and saw the definition in my legs and even my arms. I LOVED the feeling of power and strength and accomplishment that came from becoming fit. To have lost that, and to be recognizing that I’m soon to turn 49 years old, I’m fearful that my best years are now behind me, and that I will never again experience the joy of feeling good in my body. I am not too proud to admit that I shed some tears as we talked about this.
So, my first “assignment” for this week is simply to start telling myself a different story. Whether I believe the words or not, I need to start with telling myself that “My body can change. I can change. This will work. I can feel better again. I can LOOK better again. I will feel proud and energetic again.” The more I can tell myself these positive, encouraging words, eventually my tired little brain and heart may start to let the light of hope back in. So, we start there. Yes, I can!
Can you relate? Have you had to overcome a history of repeated “failures?”* I’d love to hear where you’re at. Are you struggling to keep hope alive and keep yourself going? Or have you perhaps been there but are now on the other side? Leave your comments below to tell me about what you’ve done that’s helped.
*I HATE to use that word as I don’t believe I – or anyone – have failed unless I’ve actually given up entirely, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll use it for now.